Mixed Results

It's been awhile since I last wrote. That particular journey had ended with the radio isotope treatment in NYC and a return to Singapore. Since then I returned to the care of my dear Dr. "Cannot-Cannot" (a nickname because he is very conservative with his patients vis a vis risks). The restrictions were many and some seemed absurd (no earrings) but I was called out when I bucked so I have been pretty well behaved and patient. I think so, the doctor isn't so sure. It's a little humbling to be dressed down by a doctor at my age who is maybe 15-20 years younger.


Anyway, today was the big consultation following batteries of tests this week and the results are mixed. 


Blood counts are almost normal and lots of sanctions have been lifted. I can walk (no weights or trainer yet) and I can swim. I can travel short flights but the doctor prefers locations with good hospitals. An infection and fever could still be dangerous (some finger wagging at me when telling this. Humbling, embarrassing). I return for another blood test in late April to determine whether I can do the longer flight back to the USA. I'm sure that I can, if I have to eat half a cow and a crop of spinach every day.

So back to the scans: some areas are showing increased activity, some much less and a bigger mass on my spleen is all but gone. The radio isotope is still doing battle and another scan in NY in late May will be a more accurate read of the success or failure of the Bexxar and it will tell a better story hopefully. Patience required a little longer.

As Tim says "progress not perfection". 


And I am excited to start walking and swimming and will plan to go to Hong Kong and/or Tokyo in March and/or April to visit friends (welcome some newborns) and get the moths out of my passport.

That's the skinny. Progress. The Turtle and the Hare. I will cross that finish line first.

Kate

OVER AND OUT AND HAPPY 2012

Dear Friends,


It is now three weeks since my last treatment and I have been cleared to travel back to Singapore. I must carry with me that  letter from the Sloan Kettering Hospital that states that I have had a radioisotope infusion, I don't represent a danger to other passengers but I may set off sensitive detectors in airports. I have visions of alarms going off tonight as I go through security and staring down a flank of machine guns aimed at me by Homeland Security forces.


Tim and I should be back in Singapore, the lap of luxury, wearing fewer layers of clothes by Jan. 4th. I am far from ready for a public bathing suit appearance. The doctor told me only to limit myself to mild exercise and I (all too happily) followed his directions religiously.


2012 is another story.


Christmas with the family in New York city was wonderful and chaotic but we were spread across several apartments and I missed the morning gatherings as one after another fumble for the coffee or tea pot and the more personal conversations are had. 

New Years Eve back home in Stonington CT was especially wonderful this year, looking back at a challenging year and forward to one with much promise for all. We dined and danced at our Yacht Club and left before midnight joining a small stream of people headed to the Stonington point. From the point Stonington looks out at 3 states, NY, CT and RI and the Long Island Sound opens up here to the vast Atlantic. Traditionally there is a big bonfire there and a ball of Christmas lights is attached to the flagpole. After the countdown, the hugs and kisses, horn blowing and cheers, a sorry rendition of Auld Lang Syne is sung. This year the weather was blessedly mild and there was little wind so the crowd didn't have to dance away from shifting flames. We also had our very own fabulous fireworks and airborne paper lanterns.

I didn't  actually make a New Year's resolution this year but filling my whole being is a desire to "pay it forward". I have received so much love and kindness, prayers have been answered and I feel blessed beyond measure. This bounty needs to be carried and passed on.


Wishing everyone a New Year with joy, health and peace for all. Signing off.


Kate 

D-DAY

"D" as in demolish, defeat, disappear this cancer. Yes, I am nuclear again. I had my last scan and my final infusion today which is 10 X more powerful than the last weeks. There were two lead screen this time and in addition to the geiger they measured my radioactivity at my heart and a meter away. They plugged the information into a computer which calculated my discharge instructions. The quarantine is on. I have permission to drive up to Stonington on the 17th and I won't endanger anyone but I will limit my interaction to 3-4 hours and stay away from pregnant women and babies. And of course I need to stay away from anyone with a cold and be extra careful about my general health.


I walked back through Central Park which helped to clear my head of the Benadryl. The weather has been wonderful and the park is full of activity. I'm feeling fine but still sleepy so goodnight all.

COUNTDOWN

I had my last scan today before the treatment dosing this Wednesday and the 3 day quarantine. As you can see by the photo below, I have the entertainment covered. Yes, that's me and no, alcohol was not involved.

Meanwhile I enjoyed my weekend of freedom with a great brunch with my sons and Mac's very special "other", Allyse, at Sarabeths. Later I joined a friend for a matinee on Broadway, Other Desert Cities, with some big names and a pretty good screenplay. I do enjoy the theatre and am in awe of anyone who can stand up on a stage and deliver lines. But the street shows on Times Square were excellent: below, the Tuba group playing Christmas carols and across the street, pretzel-like break dancers.

Below is a much more pleasant countdown, my Advent calendar. 13 days to Christmas and a pre-tree to decorate. I love Advent calendars and love my personal elves and I love Christmas. 

GREAT COUPLE OF DAYS AND TODAY I GOT MY HALL PASS

I walked to the hospital this morning and had breakfast at Pain Quotidien before my follow up scan. My last name seems to be a hit in the Nuclear Medicine Hospital, from "good morning Love" to "Love is in the house".  This was to gather data on my body's reaction to the initial small dose of the RAI. They want to know whether the radioisotope is targeting as expected and how quickly it moves out of my system. Next week they will customize my dosage. Meanwhile I was told that I could be as social as I pleased until the next infusion. So I went to the Asia Society, exchanged something at Saks, walked home and met Harrison for a movie, Hugo. I AM feeling good and love my angels, your prayers, your cards and your gifts that have helped me as much if not more than RAI.


The day after my treatment was a beautiful day. I awoke to a view of joggers and horse drawn carriages, dogs and their owners all enjoying Central Park and I joined them. Here are some pictures.  

 There are still leaves on trees...

 The carriage business is brisk with all the tourists in town and the horse and buggies are decorated for a more Wintry landscape than this.

 The old dairy in Central Park also charmingly decorated. 

 The ever present talent throughout the park and I do mean TALENT!

  Skating on a gorgeous day in the park. Hope you enjoyed the stroll. 

WHAT AN ANTICLIMAX, HOORAY!

This is a poster on a street that I passed returning from the doctor's office one day. 


I had the first RAI infusion yesterday, really no big deal. Really. After I slept off the Benadryl I felt fine, not an ache, no chills and no visible glow. No super powers either I'm afraid. 


I walked over to the hospital through a light drizzle which at 8 AM sends the city into a frenzy, hands out up and down the streets flagging taxis, a tangle of umbrellas and people (especially the unwise in fancy shoes) facing hurdles of puddles at every corner. I enjoyed my stroll along Central Park in borrowed boots, no makeup, no medal on my person readying myself for this event and then...


The usual long wait in the lounge while they found my paperwork and processed it, then put an ID bracelet on me, another wait while the lab "prepared" and then I was in a room so small the lazyboy chair and a rolling tray with the wires and hookups to a monitor barely fit inside. A pretty poster of a park scene was on one wall- I straightened it. A prettier nurse, Aeesha, hooked me all up and began the first "cold" infusion of the protein, gave me my tylenol and benadryl and, honestly, after that they could have taken a kidney and I wouldn't have known.


I woke for the second "hot" infusion as they tried to wheel in the lead shield. Okay now, this looks a little more serious I thought.  Aeesha had to suck in and squirm past the shield to prep for the next infusion which was administered by Dr. Goldsmith who pushed before him a cart with a lead box on it, special tubing and a geiger counter. He said it was all "overkill", my concern for Aeesha and the staff was sweet but unnecessary (they wear a button  monitor that checks their exposure weekly) and in fact the needle on the geiger counter never even twitched. The "hot" stuff was in me in less than half an hour. The next infusion will be longer and more potent after they study the effects of this one and make their calculations for my customized dosage.


Then I waited an hour for a nuclear scan which was the worst part (I kept my eyes closed): I was strapped into a machine that rises to meet cylindrical cameras at the top and another camera cylinder rises to take pictures below and they are very, very close, brushing my fingers and my nose. But it was all over in 15 minutes and I was sent on my way. Me, this threat to the public, unloosed just like that. No awe, no fear, no respect, some threat.


I think it's false advertising, a very zealous team of lawyers and FDA agents must have written the Bexxar protocol. 


I am quite well, I'm happy to report. I'm sure that the lucky talismans (a mermaid, humming birds, my wedding band and my "love" shoes) I carried with me and everyone's healing wishes are responsible. Thank you all.


I watched TV and didn't have the focus for much else yesterday. I had a hearty soup, glass of wine and ice cream and I slept soundly. It's a beautiful day outside, the sun is shining and I shall plan a walk through the park at some point, otherwise a quiet day with a book and a downloaded movie. 


I get another nuclear scan tomorrow at 11:00, again on Monday and on Wednesday they give me the next and final infusion. 3 days later I am free to resume a normal, public life and it's just in time as the family congregates for Christmas in NYC and we need to decorate, sing, eat drink and be merry.










  

On location in New York

I haven't added an entry in awhile because there hasn't been much to tell on the health front. I have the best doctors in their field and I've met with so many caring people but everything administrative is in the Dark Ages and it's almost an insurmountable wall. I have been so spoiled by stream lined Singapore.

Elsewhere in NY the air is really electric: twinkling lights, evergreens and red velvet ribbons, carolers and bells, snow flakes but no real snow yet.

The weather was so warm before yesterday that we were all in short sleeve T-shirts. Harrison and I went for a walk in an old neighborhood of ours, the meat packing district on the lower West side (anyone remember Glen Close's loft in Fatal Attraction?) now very gentrified and hip. It's home to the new High Line park which was a derelict elevated highway that Tim used to run along.

THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING
SHE IS STILL AS BEAUTIFUL AS WHEN SHE WAS "THE TALLEST BUILDING IN THE WORLD" 1931 TO 1972


Had my pet scan today so I glow just a little. Results in two days but I believe I'm still on track for the Bexxar radiation infusion Monday or Tuesday when I will glow for real. 


This weekend Harrison and I will meet up with Eliza in my beloved Stonington, CT. I am ready for a touch of home, family, friends and some play time with my dogs.